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Don’t Ask…

I have a friend that is an amazing example to me of how to help others… she doesn’t ask permission!

She just shows up!  She is present and ready with food or time, when I most need help.  You know those moments… when life is overwhelming and just getting enough oxygen feels hard.  My wonderful friend just does something!  She will drop by with a meal or a bag of groceries.  When my husband had a job that kept him on the road 150 days a year, she would stop by early in the morning with a latte for me and breakfast treats for the kids.  She didn’s ask me first if it would be ok.  She never asked, “How can I help?”  She just showed up and did something!  And, it was always at the perfect time!  Once she stopped by, to just check in and as we stood catching up, she opened the dryer and started folding my clothes without skipping a beat or even pausing the conversation!  I stood in awe!  I didn’t even mind!  This was one less relentless load of laundry that I had to attend to!  She asked me questions about my days and listened attentively as I carried on about all the mundane things that filled my time.  What a gift!

Many times, just as Good Lookin’ was walking through the door from a 5 day trip, she would knock seconds after the door was closed… “I am here for the kids!  We are going to McDonalds for dinner and then to find some ice cream after.  You two probably need time to catch up a bit… enjoy your evening, we will be back in a couple of hours!”  The kids loved it!  We loved it! 

We have never lived near our extended family, so I don’t know what kind of life giving reprieve family can bring… but, my friend gave me energy and peace.  She saw me when life had me believing that I was invisible!  She reinvigorated me for another day of parenting by small gestures that I never would have asked for!  

My friend and I now live many states apart, so the quick drop in is no longer possible.  But she still surprises me and the kids.  And she has taught me to answer the question for others that are well meaning but not as willing to step in uninvited.  “Let me know if there is anything I can do for you…”  Why actually, yes, there is!

People ask with good intentions, but our own pride robs us of allowing others to bless us.  By saying no, or telling them that everything is fine, we close the door for blessings to flow to us as the recipient, but also to them as the giver of the gift!  

Until my wonderful friend demonstrated to me the life giving energy that a small act of kindness can bring, I would have also been too proud to say, yes, I could use a little help (even if I don’t even know what kind of help I need)!..  I need something, I am struggling to get dinner on the table, I am exhausted, Yes.  

I recently had surgery and was restricted from picking up, pushing or pulling anything over 10 pounds… that really limits what I can do for myself.  I thought of my friend and all the little things that she has done for me over the years and realized that I have so many other friends that are just as willing, but not as bold to take the lead.  So, as people asked, I answered… please grab this or that for me when you go to Costco.  Yes, I would love a meal.  Please vacuum my living room.  Would you run to the store for me and get a few items?  It was lovely to be surrounded by so many willing and loving people!  (Not to mention, I got to have visitors occasionally popping in!)

God designed us to be in community, just as he is in community with the Son and the Spirit.  But, society teaches us that we can do it all on our own!  So, which is it?  I choose community.  I want to breathe love and life to others around me.  I want to surprise people with being present and available.  I want to fill others needs, even when they won’t claim that they have any!  We all could use a little help!  I am keeping my eyes open to see where I can step in, even without being asked!

I may just show up at your house with a latte in hand!

One Comment

  • Carla

    What a wonderful gift from God your special friend is…and a great example to all of us as is your humble admissions that you need help sometimes. Thank you, Kristen!