Date your spouse!

Do you remember how much you loved your spouse before you got married?!! You could hardly wait for your next date. You studied him; learned what he loves to do, tried to enjoy his hobbies, planned special meals, created thoughtful gifts, wanted to know his friends, called to check in, or texted just to say “Hi!”. You could order his favorite coffee without asking. You knew his favorite color. You listened to him share his future hopes and dreams. Ahh! He was your heart sparkle!

Those should not become only lovely memories. Do those things now! I would like to challenge you to date again. Make it a priority like when you first met. Set a weekly time so that it is not forgotten or put off for another week. What is on your calendar reflects what is important to you! So, be sure that time alone with your spouse is scheduled. 

Have we gone on a date every week of our marriage? Of course not! But, boy, I would like to say that we have tried! Life stages have definitely changed our definition of a date. When we were young, we could barely make ends meet, so eating out and hiring a babysitter was not feasible, but we carved out time together at home, after the kids were in bed to laugh, to ask each other deep questions or to watch a movie. 

For a time, we had friends with which we would swap kids so the other couple could go out without paying for babysitting… the weeks with all the kids at our house were complete chaos, but the quiet weeks when we got to slip away were wonderful!  

Sometimes, I would feed the kids dinner early… dino buddies and mac ‘n cheese… then Good Lookin’ and I would eat our much more elaborate and delicious meal (not dino buddies and mac ‘n cheese!) later (after our kids were in bed), together, quietly, without the kids. 

Every so often, my dear friend Jane, would stop by at dinnertime and take my children to McDonalds, so that we could leave the house for dinner… when we would return home, our children would be in bed asleep! What a blessing! (Don’t ever tell a friend “No thankyou,” when they offer to watch your children. It is good for you… it is good for your children!)

Our kids are older now, some still in the house, and we leave them with a frozen pizza and head out for an evening together weekly and sometimes twice!  This may involve a nice meal or dinner at our favorite Mexican dive. Sometimes, we simply head over to a coffee shop to connect like old friends. (Good Lookin’ doesn’t even drink coffee, but he knows how much I enjoy it and he knows which places sell a can of Pepsi for him to enjoy!) We love movies! Sneaking out of the house to catch the newest release on the big screen is a pleasure that we both enjoy tremendously. Snuggled close to him in a theater is a lovely way to spend my time. (Unfortunately, COVID just forced the shut down of the only theater in our area, but I still snuggle next to him when we watch a movie on Netflix.)

I encourage you to be creative within your current stage of life. Drop your kids by my house (or at another friend’s house who has volunteered and you have not taken them up on it! That’s crazy!?! Why haven’t you?!) I would love to help you and your love spend time together.  

This is important and worth figuring out!

May your spouse always be your heart sparkle!**

**Heart Sparkle is the person that lights you up inside so that others can tell that your heart is sparkling… this is a term that was coined in our house by Passion and Abercrombie… and they would like credit!